Sex and Wise Leo

Ladies and gentlemen...ADAM SHANKMAN!!!!!!!!!!!! I just love everything about Adam, or Shanky. Even last year when there were about two episodes where his hands were shaking inexplicably for the entire time. Not a problem. Love the Shankman. So glad he is back. And we are going to forgive him for making "Bedtime Stories," because he is such a ball of happiness and energy and everyone should strive to be more like him.

Why was Nigel's hair feathered for this episode? It looked like he was wearing a Farrah Fawcett wig....

Bianca was great and classy and humble and I hope she goes far. No, I hope she can do more than tap. 

I thought I had seen everything after last week's ballroom dancing male duo. How foolish was I not to see that the next logical step was an incestuous brother sister duo!!!! I am all for being close with your siblings, but there is too much "accidental grabbing" involved in dance to make it a family affair. If you can answer the question "how firm are your sister's  breasts?" then you have lost your way.  

Great Shanky Moment #1: Yeah (In response to Mary asking if the brother and sister where actually brother and sister. It was just one word, but I was dying laughing and had to rewind multiple times.)

Did Nigel really say "thank you" when that poor girl was still in the middle of her audition with her ripped black nylons? She faked him out.  The real surprise turned out to be that she was an orthodox Jew who could not dance in front of men. What is it with people who stand in line for two days, embarrass the crap out of themselves, and then walk up to the microphone and say, "before you judge me, let me just make it clear that I would never be able to be a part of this anyway."

Calico Rose had a few problems even before the music started. She looked like she was going to softball practice and her partner looked like he was going to work for casual Friday. I think that is part of what Shanky meant when he said she had no presentational quality. Swing couples usually have some of the most fun outfits, and she looked like her luggage had been lost. 

It is a tad creepy when Nigel drools over the hot young girls, right? Poor Asuka hadn't even started dancing before Nigel was letting her know that he wanted a piece. I wonder if they have the age requirement on the show as to eliminate any possibility that Nigel will end up in jail (Which reminds me of another SYTYCD judge that has had some trouble with the ladies, but I won't go into that right now).

Great Shanky Moment #2: There is nothing like a naughty ballerina.

Speaking of age requirements, let's move on to Nathan, or the next Keanu Reeves. Yet another example of people who wait in line for two days, pour their hearts out on the stage, and there is no way they can make the show. WTF? It boggles me. Boggles. Of course it worked for this kid bc he got a ticket for next year. Which was kind of awesome. Of course next year he is going to show up and say, "I am so glad to be back, unfortunately I bought some magic beans off of someone in exchange for the promise that I never dance again, so, see ya."

I really liked Sammy, the popping and locking dude with the crazy red and black hair. And of course, my man Shanky comes out with "please tell me that you know how to do other stuff," because that is what it comes down to, a variety of dancing skills. I want to see more of this kid and his micro ticking, and his huge adorable smile. My fingers are crossed as well. 

PEOPLE REALLY HAVE NO IDEA WHEN THEY ARE HORRIBLE!!!! Yet it stuns me each time. I know they don't know, but I am still shocked when they reveal it. Stacey and her farm training that Nigel referred to as "the milking style." She could not be serious, except for that she was totally serious and completely heartbroken when she did not make it. Maybe there needs to  be some kind of preliminary reality test before the auditions.

And again, Nigel grinning like a fool when Amanda the blond bombshell was dancing. Thank god he has that little handkerchief in his pocket to wipe away the drool. I don't know, I just have trouble with these perfect looking Kerrington like girls. It's hard to root for them. Even with the family issues, she just doesn't come across as an underdog that you want to root for week after week. 

On the other hand I am COMPLETELY rooting for Philip and Ariel. I could have watched that routine 10 more times. I could have watched the extended movie length version of that routine. I think she had a few stumbles, and seemed to be looking at him a bit more than the audience, but it was love at first site for me. They are just such a cute pair. And I adore her for falling for their tired "it's a no to choreography" gag. Bless her.

Great Shanky moment #3: Imitating a little airplane taking off as Nigel gives Ariel her ticket to Vegas.

And then there was SEATTLE and Mia, and the most awkward situation I have seen on television in quite some time. I'm talking about Nick Nasty....

It all started with this kind of sexual tension between him and Mia when he walked on stage. I think it is quite possible that the reason he blew his audition is that he was thinking about how she smiled at him, and the possibility that he was going to sleep with her at the end of try-outs.  But he started out strong and was really fun to watch until he STOPPED for no apparent reason. He was like those people that go up there knowing that they have no shot, but he had one! Why did he start sassing Nigel? And why did he call out the sexual tension with Mia? Oh, oh, oh, it was so hard to watch. Biggest train wreck yet.

Why did everyone think Kelsea was so weird? Come on. Is that really so much weirder than some of the stuff Mia has thought up, or Wade? Not at all. I thought she was really great. And I am so tired of writing about auditions that I will leave it at that. 

And now for the main event: The dance off between Sex and Wise Leo. Actually , I  don't know if I can even write about this. The absurdity speaks for itself. I mean they had actual rounds with an announcer. And then the judges actually critiqued them! And Leo said, "thank you Mary" in the cutest voice ever. 

I like to make fun of Nigel but I do think he is a world class judge and host. I applaud him for letting Sex go on to choreography. I think Sex did deserve a little reward for being the butt of our jokes for so many years running. Of course I don't think the girl they paired him with necessarily did.....

Next Stop...Vegas!