Out of Office Reply

I will be out of town and won't be able to watch the result show until Saturday, so check back then for a review of tonight's episode. 

Hey Toni! (Clap, Clap, Clap)

Toni Basil is a certified lunatic. I can only assume that hat was filled with crack, which she subsequently smoked during the commercial breaks. 

Karla redeemed herself in my eyes this week. She was very comfortable with the hip hop and her confidence won her some points with me. Toni was dead on when she categorized Jonathan's gangster persona as "store bought." But doesn't a little bit of that fall on the choreographer? Why didn't he instill in Jonathan the right attitude for the dance?

I clearly had to pour myself a drink when Nigel started talking about the "fear" and "danger" associated with hip hop, which was a complete contradiction of what he said last week in defense of Kaitlin and Jason. I've got my eyes on you Nigel.

However, I secretly love when Nigel gets indignant with the audience. "Do you want to take bets? Do you want to take bets? I'll take bets with you." Ha! 

As much as it pains me, it is time for Vitolio to go home. I don't care that he is really sweet with Asuka. Part of me feels that whole exchange was meant to be a distraction from their  mediocre dancing. 

Melissa and Ade were absolutely magnificent last night. I don't think I have ever liked the Rumba before seeing them do it. That was a Hot Tamale train performance. How does cute little Tony Meredith come up with these ultra sensual routines?

Can I just mention again how great Brandon and Janette's disco was? I had kind of forgotten it, and then they showed the clip and I was like, "Oh, that's right, they absolutely crushed it last week."

This week's routine was crazy awesome as well. They are a force to be reckoned with and have clearly found a niche in these high energy numbers. It's hard to say who I think is the stronger couple, Ade and Melissa or Janette and Brandon, because they are both really strong in different ways. I am torn. 

As far as Kayla and Kupono, I am with Nigel. It was well done. It looked elegant and beautiful, but it does not make me want to pick up my phone.

Did you see that France spoke this episode! I had assumed that Jean Marc had cut out her tongue years ago. They strike me as that type of couple. 

I don't know what to say about Randi and Evan. They are always great, but there is something missing. They are both so...innocent? Plain? They are technically brilliant, and have great personality, but I fear that their downfall might be that they are too "All American." Yet, I love them. 

I'm so done with Jason and Kaitlin. Let's move on with our lives. In comparison with the other couples, they are all kinds of mediocre. Yes, we all enjoyed the Bollywood number, but let's get serious. They need to go. 

Man, the judges are not afraid to tear Phillip apart. The poor guy is covered in feathers with his underwear showing and Nigel is telling him that people are going to stop loving him. I suppose I am luke warm about Phillip and Jeanine. I don't want them to go home, yet I am not inspired by their routines. Which is fine at this point in the competition, but will obviously be detrimental with fewer couples. 

Here is my current ranking of couples:

1. Brandon/Jeanette tied with Ade/Melissa

2. Evan/Randi

3. Kayla/Kupono (because of Kayla)

4. Phillip/Jeanine

5. Karla/Jonathan

6. Caitlin/Jason

7. Vitolio/Asuka

I am the worst at guessing who is going home, but if I had to, I would say Jonathan and Caitlin. 

We shall see...

Goodbye Max and Ashley :(

Wow. I was not happy that Ashley and Max were the ones to go home. And by the look on his face, either was Max. If ever there was a contestant that I thought was going to open up his shirt and be strapped with explosives, it was Max.

Ashley should not have even been in danger. That was the first mistake. But Nigel was right, her solo was so weak. She stood on the stairs for half of it! There was about five seconds of actual dancing. I hate when people incorporate the stairs into their solos. There is not enough time for that, people!

When Max's solo started I thought, "Oh my God, he is wearing a sleeveless shirt with a vest and dancing to 'Footloose'." But then I really liked it and didn't think for one second that it would be him that went home. Especially because his routine with Kayla the first week was so outstanding. 

As far as who should have gone home, EVERYONE WAS SHOCKED when Vitolio and Asuka were safe. Did you see Randi and Melissa's faces? If not, go back and look for it. Their jaws were on the floor.

I wanted to add that I think Mary was totally right when she said Kayla has not taken a wrong stop. Could she win? I think her and Evan are the most flawless so far.

It this Season 6 Audition stuff too much for you? I have no idea what is going on. Ryan is auditioning yet also in the studio audience. Let's slow it down people. If a dancer makes it straight to Vegas when we are in LA, does it make a sound? I am confused. 

And now for a bunch of quick notes:

• The Sonya song from choreography is in the trailer for "Year One!" The drums, the drums, the drums....
• I thought Cat looked exquisite tonight. 
• The Lil C montage was hilarious. 
  

Let's talk! I want to hear what you think....

The Katie Rumors Are True, And It Might Go Down TONIGHT!

http://www.eonline.com/uberblog/watch_with_kristin/b129913_shane_sparks_spills_on_katie_holmes.html 

Thanks to Hen for the link :)

The Judges Must Be Crazy

The feedback from the judges in last night's episode was ridiculous. I was literally jumping out of my seat at times and pacing about the room in a fury. So this will be a kind of bi-polar blog where I go back and forth between calm reflections and anger fueled ranting. 

To begin with, Cat looked like she was wearing a bridesmaid's dress that was eight sizes too big for her. 

Melissa is married too! This is like the Senior Citizen Season of SYTYCD.

Melissa and Ade: I did not think that was worth a "buck" from Lil C. Maybe for Ade. Ade was awesome. I found Melissa distracting. Nigel said that everything Ade did Melissa "did and equaled his strength." No way. Well, maybe she equaled his strength because she is the "buff ballerina," but she had none of his style. 

I think this is also Crazy Celebrity Look-a-like Season because Kaitlin also bears a strong resemblance to Leanne Rimes and I just realized how much Brandon looks like Carlton from "The Fresh Prince of Bel Air."

Well, now we know Jason can't do hip hop. Ditto that for Kaitlin. Which leads me into...

Anger fueled rant #1: How dare Nigel defend their routine with that insanity about the show evolving hip hop. Hip hop is hard hitting and if you are not hard hitting then you are not getting it yet. Shane did a different style to make them look good? Not bloody likely, Nigel. Talk about making excuses. "You see, Shane knew you guys were garbage, so he developed this routine where you were not challenged and could just basically flop around like amateurs. And you know what, you totally nailed it!"

Janette certainly proved she is worth the price of admission last night. She and Brandon tore up that dance floor. Tore it up. And Lil C is already eating his words about Brandon. Mia is next. 

Anger fueled rant #2: Why was I not surprised to hear that Asuka was not attracted to Vitolio? They have no chemistry! That routine was not worth Mary's tears. It was the same stuff as last week, holding back and empty steps. And could we all stop treating Asuka like a prostitute? Calling someone "dominant submissive" is not a compliment. It is yet another in a train of sexually based comments hurled at Asuka and it is getting out of control. 

Kayla killed it yet again. Max held his own regardless of that fact that he looked like an Aladdin/Drag Queen hybrid. 

Anger fueled rant #3: There are two types of people in this world, those that have seen "Once," and those that have not. Because you are not quite the same afterwards. That's how good it is. Those that have seen the movie realize the song Jonathan and Karla danced to is the most emotionally charged, amazing song ever. And they did it no justice. They did not even come close to matching the emotional intensity of that song. They left passion and love out of the most passionate love song. I was barreled over with disappointment. But the judges praised it! And Lil C gave them a "buck." I don't think so. That compliment now officially carries no weight at all. 

When they replayed the snippet from Jonathan and Karla's piece at the end of the show my boyfriend started laughing and said, "this one was the travesty." Enough said. 

Ashley and Kupono made me remember why I watch this show and then Mary said the routine was just okay. And Lil C was disappointed.  Well guess what, I am disappointed...in you guys! BIG TIME!!!!!! Would you rather Jonathan and Karla get back on stage and show us what it's like to not understand the depth of a piece of music? Maybe Jason could show us some more uninspiring hip hop. The judges were crazy last night. Just crazy.

The only real note of the show was when Nigel told Phillip that he needs to control his face during the lifts. That was a legitimate critique. That looked pretty bad in the playback and deserved to be pointed out. Most everything else that happened last night was just wrong. 

So You Think You Can Dance, Katie Holmes? We shall see about that...

I suppose my first reaction to the rumors that Katie Holmes will be on SYTYCD is unmitigated fear. Does Katie Holmes dance? Apparently she danced on an episode of "Eli Stone." What the hell is "Eli Stone?" I mean, I can infer that it is some sort of television show, but it is not instilling a lot of confidence in me. 

Oh wait, she danced for the entire duration of "Mad Money." Still not exactly what I would call reassuring. 

The rationale for my fears can be summed up in one word: Integrity.

I think SYTYCD has the most integrity of all the reality competition shows. Whenever I try to get people to watch the show, I tell them "it's not like other reality shows where they cause unnecessary drama to get ratings or thrive off the sick pleasure of watching people with no talent. It's different. It's about people who are genuinely gifted." Okay, there is no way I've ever said those exact words, but you get my point. While "America's Next Top Model" relies on sleep deprivation and cat fights for ratings*, SYTYCD carries itself on the talent of its contestants.  

*Author's Note: This is in no way stops me from being a religious watcher of ANTM.

SYTYCD is not about cheap tricks. And this seems like a cheap trick. I don't want to celebrity bash here, but Katie Holmes is most famous for marrying someone that no one believes she loves. Not good. If it was, say, Michelle Williams, I would probably be excited. I would assume she knew how to dance and was going to show us something special. With Katie, I am more expecting a gimmick, a headline. So help me God if anything, I mean ANYTHING happens involving Suri, my heart will probably stop beating. 

So, let's talk about this. Is Katie Holmes going to be the next best thing to happen to SYTYCD, or the first really bad thing?

First cuts...Xanax please!

Is it me, or did they stop doing the "so you think you can dance, dance, dance." Maybe it was just faint, but it sounded like they cut off the two extra "dances." Now I'm going to have to change the name of my damn blog! Thanks a lot.

I don't know how Cat does it. I feel horrible watching people on the chopping block. She must be super detached. I wonder if she can handle the pressure because she secretly hates all the dancers. Or, instead, maybe after the show she goes back stage and cries in her dressing room and writes everyone apology letters. 

Any who...

How was Karla safe! It looked like I choreographed her solo. I was having second hand embarrassment watching her. I think maybe she did not know about the solos and didn't have anything prepared. That is the only explanation.

Paris! I feel like I jinxed you by cursing your name these past few weeks. And now you are gone and I blame myself :(

Vitolio's criticism was a pack of lies. His solo was brilliant and strong and passionate. Of course he stayed, he is the man. Anyone that says "diarrhea moment" is the man.

And of course, I jinxed poor Tony who is going to have to listen to his father telling him he should have taken that lacrosse scholarship for the rest of his life. That is not going to be fun. 

Only one things is for sure. Being cut first sucks...

Want more Phillip? Thought So...

"Fidelity" Choreo from Phillip Chbeeb on Vimeo.

Best First Night Ever

Seriously? That was an amazing first night. I mean amazing. There was not one couple that I did not want to vote for. Everybody brought it. It's going to be really interesting to see who America did and did not vote for.

Wait. I just remembered that Vitolio did not do so well. He was okay, but he was definitely holding back, and playing it safe. It was probably nerves, as I am sure dancing in front of a huge audience for the first time must be super intimidating. Of course, I will be devastated if he goes home because he has the cutest personality ever. Remember  the final night in Vegas when he referred to his last time in front of the judges as a "diarrhea moment." Hysterical.

I also officially love Jonathan who somehow passed my radar until last night. He was so cute and such a good dancer. I loved everything about his and Karla's routine. Loved the music, loved the costumes, loved the lighting. Loved everything. Loved it. 

Randi is married! That is a first, right?

I take back everything I have said (and all the bad things I have been thinking) about Paris. She brought it to her routine. I could not take my eyes off of her. She totally out shined Tony every second of that routine. Note: I don't think it's fair for the judges to criticize their costumes, it's not like they pick them out themselves. 

Ashley and Kupono. Talk about doing the best with what you are given. I was a little skeptical when I heard they were going to be crash test dummies, and then I was ready for the worst when I saw how they were made up. But they did it. They danced superbly. I should have never doubted you Wade :)

Melissa is 29? Hello!

For a show that thrives on being contemporary if not ahead of the curve on trends, I was surprised that Mandy Moore chose a Karl Marx song for Melissa and Ade to dance to. "Right There Waiting for You?" I am pretty sure that used to be my mom's favorite song. Whatever, they did awesome anyway. But if they get sent home, we will know why...."whatever it takes, or how my heart breaks...."

I don't know what was better, Kayla and Max's performance, or Shanky's reaction. Their routine was sick, and the music was perfect. It did not look like your typical first night routine. It was just so much better than that. Which was of course why all the judges lost it.

On a parting note, I want to say that I give Mary a lot of credit for making a joke about her Botox, and even though she is fit for a straight jacket, I wouldn't want her any other way :)

One last comment about Alex Wong and Ryan Kasprzak

As I have mentioned before, it makes me crazy when people audition for the show when they know that they are not going to be able to be on it. I am of course talking about Alex Wong and his contract with the Miam Ballet City Ballet.

I didn't line up to vote when I was 17.  I wouldn't get auto insurance if I didn't have a car. And I certainly would not try out for a reality dance television show when I was under contract with another dance company. Come on! I am sure there are a few sympathizers out there, but not me. It makes me crazy when people do this stupid sh*t! 

On a lighter note, I really want them to ask Ryan back as a choreographer. What do you think? Good idea? It broke my heart when he said that the judges would probably not choose him because he was fat and bald. Especially because I was thinking to myself, "they are not going to choose him because he is fat and bald."

Let's cross our fingers that the producers ask him back! Unless the Miami City Ballet has already snatched him up...

Mia hates Tony Bellissimo!?!

I was just re-watching last week's episode and I noticed something that had passed by me the first time. Something that sheds a little light on the mystery of how Tony Bellissimo made it to the Top 20. 

Remember after he did the choreography for the 2nd time (when he started crying because he knew how badly he did)? And then Debbie Allen told him that he was a disappointment? And then regardless of that statement told him that he was going to the next round?

Well, right after that, when everyone is applauding, Mia says, "I can't take it, I can't take it, I quit."

What does that mean??? I think it means that Mia realizes that Tony has been getting away with being an average dancer and she is pissed...

And here are your Top 20!

So it is the final day of auditions, time for the infamous Top 20 to be chosen. This basically entails walking down a hallway where they show videoclips of your "life" on SYTYCD, which I think is pretty cool. I have to go to work in about ten minutes, so I will just share some preliminary thoughts, and write more later.

Mia hating on Brandon is so reminiscent of all the sh*t people gave Danny and it makes me CRAZY! How in the world are Lil' C and Mia not impressed? I think they are both jealous. God forbid someone is good at dancing and knows it. Mia saying he had a fake smile was absurd. They said the same thing about Danny and they were dead wrong about him. I predict Mia loving him in the end after she works with him.

Of course Tony Bellisimo looked shocked when he got into the Top 20! They have been telling him he is crap day after day. Even after Nigel gave him the good news, he added "you are the furthest we have ever gone out on a limb." They love to hate this guy. Which means only one thing. Tony has pictures of Nigel having sex with one or more farm animals and is using them as blackmail to get onto the show. That is the most rational explanation. 

Isn't it kind of cruel to make them sit in that room together? As they numbers dwindle do you think they are less and less excited for the people that make it. Do you think the last few people who get into the Top 20 come back screaming and the handful of people in the chairs are like, "screw you."?

I know Mia applauded Randi for her unitards, but they basically scared me. It looked like something a figure skater would wear while portraying a race car driver. It looked like Randi was in NASCAR on ice. This could work to her advantage as race car driving is the country's most popular sport. Way to work the angles girl!

I have to go to work now. And by now I mean seven minutes ago.

What did everyone else think?????

Vegas, Baby!

Another episode, another hairdo for Nigel. Can he keep this up? And did Mary use the hiatus to get some Botox? I think she did...

 

Here are my first impressions, in chronological order, but in no way all encompassing:

So we started out with Alex Wong, who I do not remember from auditions but he was pretty stellar and remarkably strong. I would not be surprised to find out that he is one of those guys that karate chops through blocks of ice. Regardless, he was nothing short of impressive, and I kept wondering if they made him go first just to intimidate all the other dancers.

And then came Tony. Not sure I would have gone with a comedy routine at this point in the game. Then when they said they were in fact cutting people after the solos, I was afraid for him. And then he stayed, proving again that I know nothing. But really, I thought it was harsh to cut 45 people after only having a chance to do their solos. Oh, well. 

Speaking of being harsh, did I hear Mia right? Did she say, "I love cutting because I think people that are not good at what they do should go home?" Yikes! When did this show get so intense? Of course, I initially thought she meant "cutting" as in the disorder where you injure yourself, so the latter was somewhat less distressing.

Philip looked a little goon-ish during his ballroom and I was so scared that he was going to go home. I think I overhead one of the judges say that he still looked like he was popping, which he did. But then he steps up for judgement with those puppy dog eyes and I don't know how they could ever cut him. Alas, Ariel was eliminated, which I saw coming. She just doesn't shine as bright as Phillip.

What happened to  Natalie? Sonya used her as an example of how the choreography should be done and then she gets cut.  I wonder if the pressure of Sonya telling her that she already had it got to her. Maybe she needed something to reach for? I don't know. But she downshifted in energy and was a shade off when she danced for the judges, which just plain sucks. Then came her departure which was surprisingly funereal. It got depressing, like Grey's Anatomy depressing. People were crying, they busted out the sad tunes. They don't shoot you if you get eliminated, do they? She made quite the impression for someone who was not even in the Top 20. Maybe that means she should not have been let go....

Gabi made for some good television. I guess they liked her more than Natalie because she had a chance to redeem herself, and she did. You can always count on Lil' C to sum it up, and he did when he said, "That is how you dance for your life," because she brought it and proved she should be allowed to stay. And double props for giving a good performance after Debbie Allen tears you to shreds and tells you how much of a disappointment you are. That could not have been easy.

Then they cut  crazy haired Sammy. Why do they make us like people just to let them go?

I don't have a lot to say about the group choreography exercise. Was that really an effective way to find out who the best dancers are? I feel like all the people that got cut as a result of that portion were cut unjustly. The only good thing that came from that was that we got to see Adam "Shanky" Shankman do the most effeminate "touchdown!" ever. Love you Shanky.

And then came contemporary, or "the bloodbath." I think my favorite part was watching Evan dance it.  And then Mia made him flea hop for his life! And he scooted his little butt around that stage like it was the most important thing he was ever going to do. 

I cannot believe they let Bianca go! And either could she. She was pissed. Like, "I am not coming back next year" pissed.  I wonder if she will hold true to that. But I can understand her pain, because she looked like she really belonged in the Top 20.

I must admit I got a little wound up in the show and did a lot more watching than writing towards the end, so my final thoughts are going to be a little abrupt.  Which is to say, that's all I have to say, but I will write more tomorrow.

What did you think. Let's talk.....

Sex and Wise Leo

Ladies and gentlemen...ADAM SHANKMAN!!!!!!!!!!!! I just love everything about Adam, or Shanky. Even last year when there were about two episodes where his hands were shaking inexplicably for the entire time. Not a problem. Love the Shankman. So glad he is back. And we are going to forgive him for making "Bedtime Stories," because he is such a ball of happiness and energy and everyone should strive to be more like him.

Why was Nigel's hair feathered for this episode? It looked like he was wearing a Farrah Fawcett wig....

Bianca was great and classy and humble and I hope she goes far. No, I hope she can do more than tap. 

I thought I had seen everything after last week's ballroom dancing male duo. How foolish was I not to see that the next logical step was an incestuous brother sister duo!!!! I am all for being close with your siblings, but there is too much "accidental grabbing" involved in dance to make it a family affair. If you can answer the question "how firm are your sister's  breasts?" then you have lost your way.  

Great Shanky Moment #1: Yeah (In response to Mary asking if the brother and sister where actually brother and sister. It was just one word, but I was dying laughing and had to rewind multiple times.)

Did Nigel really say "thank you" when that poor girl was still in the middle of her audition with her ripped black nylons? She faked him out.  The real surprise turned out to be that she was an orthodox Jew who could not dance in front of men. What is it with people who stand in line for two days, embarrass the crap out of themselves, and then walk up to the microphone and say, "before you judge me, let me just make it clear that I would never be able to be a part of this anyway."

Calico Rose had a few problems even before the music started. She looked like she was going to softball practice and her partner looked like he was going to work for casual Friday. I think that is part of what Shanky meant when he said she had no presentational quality. Swing couples usually have some of the most fun outfits, and she looked like her luggage had been lost. 

It is a tad creepy when Nigel drools over the hot young girls, right? Poor Asuka hadn't even started dancing before Nigel was letting her know that he wanted a piece. I wonder if they have the age requirement on the show as to eliminate any possibility that Nigel will end up in jail (Which reminds me of another SYTYCD judge that has had some trouble with the ladies, but I won't go into that right now).

Great Shanky Moment #2: There is nothing like a naughty ballerina.

Speaking of age requirements, let's move on to Nathan, or the next Keanu Reeves. Yet another example of people who wait in line for two days, pour their hearts out on the stage, and there is no way they can make the show. WTF? It boggles me. Boggles. Of course it worked for this kid bc he got a ticket for next year. Which was kind of awesome. Of course next year he is going to show up and say, "I am so glad to be back, unfortunately I bought some magic beans off of someone in exchange for the promise that I never dance again, so, see ya."

I really liked Sammy, the popping and locking dude with the crazy red and black hair. And of course, my man Shanky comes out with "please tell me that you know how to do other stuff," because that is what it comes down to, a variety of dancing skills. I want to see more of this kid and his micro ticking, and his huge adorable smile. My fingers are crossed as well. 

PEOPLE REALLY HAVE NO IDEA WHEN THEY ARE HORRIBLE!!!! Yet it stuns me each time. I know they don't know, but I am still shocked when they reveal it. Stacey and her farm training that Nigel referred to as "the milking style." She could not be serious, except for that she was totally serious and completely heartbroken when she did not make it. Maybe there needs to  be some kind of preliminary reality test before the auditions.

And again, Nigel grinning like a fool when Amanda the blond bombshell was dancing. Thank god he has that little handkerchief in his pocket to wipe away the drool. I don't know, I just have trouble with these perfect looking Kerrington like girls. It's hard to root for them. Even with the family issues, she just doesn't come across as an underdog that you want to root for week after week. 

On the other hand I am COMPLETELY rooting for Philip and Ariel. I could have watched that routine 10 more times. I could have watched the extended movie length version of that routine. I think she had a few stumbles, and seemed to be looking at him a bit more than the audience, but it was love at first site for me. They are just such a cute pair. And I adore her for falling for their tired "it's a no to choreography" gag. Bless her.

Great Shanky moment #3: Imitating a little airplane taking off as Nigel gives Ariel her ticket to Vegas.

And then there was SEATTLE and Mia, and the most awkward situation I have seen on television in quite some time. I'm talking about Nick Nasty....

It all started with this kind of sexual tension between him and Mia when he walked on stage. I think it is quite possible that the reason he blew his audition is that he was thinking about how she smiled at him, and the possibility that he was going to sleep with her at the end of try-outs.  But he started out strong and was really fun to watch until he STOPPED for no apparent reason. He was like those people that go up there knowing that they have no shot, but he had one! Why did he start sassing Nigel? And why did he call out the sexual tension with Mia? Oh, oh, oh, it was so hard to watch. Biggest train wreck yet.

Why did everyone think Kelsea was so weird? Come on. Is that really so much weirder than some of the stuff Mia has thought up, or Wade? Not at all. I thought she was really great. And I am so tired of writing about auditions that I will leave it at that. 

And now for the main event: The dance off between Sex and Wise Leo. Actually , I  don't know if I can even write about this. The absurdity speaks for itself. I mean they had actual rounds with an announcer. And then the judges actually critiqued them! And Leo said, "thank you Mary" in the cutest voice ever. 

I like to make fun of Nigel but I do think he is a world class judge and host. I applaud him for letting Sex go on to choreography. I think Sex did deserve a little reward for being the butt of our jokes for so many years running. Of course I don't think the girl they paired him with necessarily did.....

Next Stop...Vegas!