Thursday, July 2, 2009

I have to sit down, my feet are dizzy


I posted this picture of Miss Carrie Bradshaw because my friend Jen pointed out that Cat's outfit last night was the pink version of this frock that Carrie wore in the movie. Well, she called it a flagrant rip off, but it's the same idea.

I'll just say it. Nigel started an entire scholarship organization to cover up his shameless publicity stunt of having Katie Holmes dance on the show. America got wind of the rumors, we made public our dissatisfaction with the lack of integrity, and Nigel went into action. Well played. You didn't fool me Nigel, but I appreciate the gesture. 

Apparently I am the last person on the planet that know about performance fees, that celebs get paid to just show up at places. I looked into it and found that Bill Cosby gets as much as $100,000 dollars to attend events, and Alan Thick (dad from Growing Pains) gets $30,000. This seems crazy to me, just crazy. Had I known this, I would have clearly become a celebrity.

But let's get back to SYTYCD paying Katie Holmes, a non-dancer, to dance on the show. If she wants to use this show to launch her dance career, she should be paying Nigel. Yes, she is donating her fee to the Dizzy Feet Foundation, but I am sure that is just because she was commanded to by one of the head wizards at her local Scientology center. 

Onto the show. I did not love last night at all. If I wanted to see Brandon and Janette dance an up tempo, spicy routine, or see Randi and Evan do some old timey dance, I would just re-watch the last three episodes. What kind of hat are they randomly picking the styles out of? A magical hat that pairs everyone with their own style? And did they not use to SHOW them picking, and now we are just taking their word for it? I smell a rat. 

So, I basically have nothing to say about Brandon and Janette because we have seen them do this before. They are great at it. Let's give them something else. I will comment on Mia "Happy Pills" Michaels. Her reversal on her Brandon opinion was a bit fast. And she was just in an all around good mood the whole episode. Very unusual.

If it were not for Kupono and Kayla, the night would have been a total wash. Their routine was brilliant. Well, Kayla was brilliant, and Kupono managed to keep up.  There was one troubling element, which is that I am not sure whether or not Kayla is the "impoverished, pitiful, diamond in the rough" girl they portrayed in auditions. She now strikes me more as the "totally confident, steely cool, veteran dancer/model." She might be the best dancer on the show, but I am not so impressed with her attitude. (Note to Kayla: we love an underdog)

As previously mentioned, Randi and Evan danced the same, now tired, routine they have been doing since the show started. I am officially bored. Give them something else. I should add that I think Mia is taking out some kind of weird, suppressed aggression on Randi. Last week she made Randi's butt the focal point of her routine after Randi stated that she is married and is uncomfortable with the sexual aspect that is sometimes demanded by the show. Okay, so Mia threw her a curve ball, fine. But this week Mia called Randi's dancing "heavy," which is a thinly veiled critique of Randi's weight, and I think that it was unnecessary. Mia, book a therapy session, because if anyone has a weight issue on this show it is you, and not Randi.

I can't even get into Caitlin and Jason. At this point it is like the choreographers have a side bet to see who can get them too look the most foolish. It was literally a piece inspired by her embarrassing velociraptor impression. Terrible, terrible, terrible.

I was glad that Nigel did not tear Phillip apart, but I am not sure why he spared him. That chain routine was abominable. Those routines only work when something that looks extremely difficult comes across as effortless. But in this case, their labor was evident and I was prepared for someone to fall at any moment. It was sloppy, but everyone loves Phillip and I can't imagine him and Jeanine in danger. 

This is all I will say about Melissa and Ade's ballet routine; do you think it is fair that she was allowed to dance point? Clearly no other contestant could do that. And it came off looking like one of the 'Result Night' professional performances rather than a contestants' piece. Fair play, or unjust advantage?

What is with the repeat outfits!!! Why would you dress Vitolio in a bowtie that looks like the tie he wore in that awful Broadway dance he did with Asuka? It didn't work before, why would it work now? It just reminds us of how bad he was before, and will most likely be again. Of all the easy mistakes to avoid...

Maybe some people like when Karla's dress changed, but I did not. This is not America's Got Talent, and I will not be distracted from the full realization of their stilted dancing. Plus, the desperation from last week's solo slipped into Karla's performance. It was just not good.

The three worst routines were Caitlin and Jason, Jeanine and Phillip, and Vitolio and Karla. But I would not be surprised if Randi and Evan ended up in the bottom three because of that horrible closed fist dance routine. 

I think Jeanine is money so she will be safe. Caitlin will give her signature polished solo to keep her safe. And Karla will crumble and go home.

If Nigel is having a bad day he might send Phillip home, but knowing how that will alienate America, he will most likely not. I think Jason is the better dancer, but Vitolio has more personality and probably more followers. 

My final guess is....Karla and Vitolio 







 


5 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  2. True, and Mia's "Butt" routine that Randi had to do. I know dance is sexual but how about a little subtlety. Besides, it's less titillating that way.

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  3. Naturally the judges are not going to say when the routine is a lousy one, but I will. Sometimes the dancers get f&#*ed by the routines. What was that dance Caitlin and Jason had to do? And even by Nigel's own admission, no one is going to stand up and applaud for a Viennese waltz.

    Let's face it, the choreographers are not perfect, even though they are untouchable. In fact, I can think of one way in which "NappyTab's" routine could have been better. Instead of actually using a chain as a prop, they should have designed a dance that gave the impression the dancers were chained to each other. Less is more.

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  4. Kayla is a model and not impoverished. Plus, she has no personality.

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  5. SYTYCD,

    DON'T GROPE A GIRL'S BUTT AND THEN THROW HER TO THE DOGS!

    Mia's comment about Randi was the most absurd thing I have ever seen on the show... except for when Nigel and Kat tap danced with bobble heads two seasons ago.

    Really, Mia's forcing Randi to have her butt groped while the camera zoomed in was not only tasteless for television (if I wanted to see that, I would pop in a Jenna Jameson flick), but was like forced sexual contact... that Randi herself had said she was uncomfortable with. It was like I was watching glorified sexual harassment.

    And the irony is that then, after all that, Mia turns around and is mean to her. And it was the worst choreography I have ever seen (and the bitchiest choreographer I have ever seen)! (although I liked Nigel's imitation of it).

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